How to piss a cop off

1) When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, officer, there’s no blood in
my alcohol?”
2) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3) When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4) If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer
doesn’t go that high.
5) […]